WOMAN #ChooseToChallenge

Updated: May 16, 2021

Dear Africana Woman,

Oooo I feel this on my spirit.

Woman do you know how precious you are? Woman, do you know that from the dawn of ages to eternity you are the only version of you that has walked this earth? Woman you are divine, do you know that? Uh Woman you have been on my mind. I’m here to tell you, RELEASE, the uniqueness that has been attached to only you. The world is waiting for you honey. The Real You. To step into your destiny. To step into your purpose. I call forth who you always have been. The time is now. …. There you are. Woman.

Friend this is the month that is all about Women. But first I have a secret. Drumroll please. I found a dude. Syke. Sorry I couldn’t help myself, but you know you were thinking that. No babes, the real news is …. First, I don’t know if you did this when you were kids. We would be watching movies and we would boogzie (choose) characters from the movies and would say, “Me am Cinderalla!” And if you don’t boogzie the best characters fast enough you will be the default ugly sister. You know what I mean? Did y’all play those games. Any who, I would always choose Storm from Xmen. NO one should tell me they don’t know who Storm is. Because back in the day when there was a black person in a movie we ALL watched it. Whether it was a bad movie or not, whether they died first or not. We were all over the movies with black characters because they were so few and far apart. I digressed…. I would always choose to be Storm. By the way I only found this out as an adult. Do you know Storm is African royalty? But more importantly she had this beautiful white mane. Well BAM!!!

Lifelong dream achieved, I am finally STORM. The cat is out of the bag. You don't even need to tell me I look cute. I already feel it. I am suddenly so vain y'all. Like I look at myself in every mirror I pass and say, "Hey Beautiful." Hahaha.

March is Women’s History Month AND we also celebrate International Women’s Day on 8th March. So there are two themes floating around. One is by the UN with the C swear word attached to it. We won’t use that here. The other one is #ChoosetoChallenge. Friend you know this theme was made with just me in mind. In fact the other week, I was told I don’t have a boyfriend because I like to challenge men. Hmm. I thought it would be great to really break down what it means to Choose to Challenge.

Choose. The Art of Choice. I’m convinced that many times we forget that we always have a choice. There is actually a term for it. My science folk please help us out here. Basically what happens is that something may become distorted in your view. At first it will bother you, but after a while you will see it less. Eventually, you just accept it as normal. Simple example, your child becomes Picasso on your wall. The first time you see it you are in shock and horror but you are too tired to clean it that day, you can get to it tomorrow. The next week is super busy, so it gets pushed to the weekend. Suddenly a month has passed and dear squiggle is still on the wall, but the caveat is, you don’t see it anymore. You know who will see it, your in-laws, when they come to visit, they’ll be like, “My gad did you see the walls, there were pictures everywhere (but it’s only one). Elo she was just sitting there. Mhm” I bet you at this point everyone is looking around their house trying to see what you have Normalised in your house, when darling a quick fix will improve the quality of your life. Is it a bulb change, a remote battery (that was me last week), broken whatever….Choose to deal with it and fix it.

So you will, say well with people it is not the same thing. It is complicated. I would argue that it is only complicated because you have chosen that. I’ll tell you what happened to me last week. Have you ever been rebuked by Spirit? Friend I was schooled. So there is this ‘Ex’ that I have kept up with for years. Now let me tell you, I have a NO EX policy. My game is tight. But this dude just keeps popping up, calling, texting. He’s not the one that got away. He’s more of my free hookup In a crunch. Get your mind out the gutter. There are no benefits like that. It’s more of my oven glass has fallen off and who can fix it? Dude can. So last week I was complaining in my mind how this dude just won’t leave me be. Like why does he not just leave me alone. Then Spirit said, “Madam the problem is not him. It’s you. You have made the choice to keep him around.” Gurl it’s so true. I am the problem, I have not blocked this dude, Okay blocked is a harsh word, the politically correct term is put up boundaries. But between you and me we know it is blocking. I am the one that chooses to answer the phone. I choose to answer the text. I choose to keep giving him access to me. And we all know the only person you can control, is you. So Spirit was right. I am the problem in this equation. Needless to say I have since shut that situation down.

Sis, I do not care what you are going through. You always have a choice. Our biggest barrier is our pride and ego. You don’t want to hear the words, “I told you so”. You don’t want people to throw you a pity party. You don’t want to be judged. Maybe it’s just something that comes with age, but I really do not care what people have to say anymore. If I am in a less than desirable situation I would rather choose the lesser of two evils than have to deal with nonsense. So if it means at 36 you have to go back and live under your parents roof, Sis do what you need to do. It won’t last forever, it’s just a pit stop until you get back on your feet. Choice is always available to you.

Challenge. Hah! What should you challenge? I would say everything, that’s just because I am radical. But you know what at some point in your life you should really conduct a life audit and Challenge everything that goes on in your life. Just because you challenge something does not mean that you will discard it. It just means that you are thinking critically about whether it allows you to thrive or it is chipping away at your soul. I will just throw out some questions and I would like for you to Challenge your own situation. Be honest. No one can hear or see your answers. It’s not a race. Okay. Here goes:

  • Do you love yourself? Like when you look in a mirror what is the first thought that come to your mind? Do you even look in a mirror? Why Not?

  • Do you find fulfilment in your job? Can you see how you can progress in your career? Or have you reached a roadblock and your career is stagnant?

  • Does your romantic relationship spark joy in you? If you put your relationship’s joy and sorrow on a scale which way would it tip? Like should you really be in that relationship?