By Ngosa Chibuye Muyatwa
Each morning I wake up it feels like I’m running a marathon. At the beginning of the day, I’m full of adrenaline and by the end of the day, I just want to crawl into my bed and sleep quietly. I am not sure if I am a Stay at home mom because, we are hardly at home as our days are filled with a lot of movements, fighting, screaming, adventures and new things to do with children.
When I manage to wake up early, my day starts at 05:00 AM. I manage to squeeze in a workout and quiet time ranging from 30 minutes to an hour but if I oversleep, I say bye to this moment of quiet. My kids are 4 and 2 years old. We decided to take the youngest one to school when she was 1 year and 6 months old because she wanted to be with the sister but also so that I could have some semblance of a life apart from my children. When I have a house help I’m able to achieve this but moments when I don’t, immediately they enter the house from school at midday, the house looks like a battlefield with toys, clothes and leftover foods everywhere.
Getting my children to eat is a fight too as they would rather keep the food within their cheeks than swallow and this tests my patience. I have resorted to doing chores in between meals so that I’m not driven insane. And occasionally the kids want to visit the loo, in the middle of a meal! And the fights! The endless fights about everything and the most insane things. I am always refereeing and when it doesn’t work, I usually throw them into the bath and they emerge tired and we nap or we go for a walk and this tires them and we nap! Napping and quiet is always the end goal! But the house doesn’t stay clean for long and in the past I’d fight to keep it clean. I wanted my husband when he came home from work to find the house and the children clean (because that’s what I want after a long day out) but I gave up because it’s futile....
I let the children play and pick up when I can, when I can’t, there is always tomorrow. My joys are in seeing my children happy and smiling and enjoying their childhood.
I probably won’t get any recognition in the Forbes Magazine for all I do and my CV is very short, as are my skills unappreciated in the career corridors. And when people ask what I do unconcerned I rehearse an answer and try to explain, what I did while I worked in the civil service. It does not come naturally to answer, “I am a stay-at-home mom”. And when I do say this, you can see their judgment as they assume I have no college education or I have it easy because I answer to no one. I do have bosses, two tiny human beings who test my patience every day and occasionally at night and who also fill me up with such immense joy.
I AM A STAY-AT-HOME MOM.
I am keeping 2 humans alive, daily and this is no easy feat. I am always on my feet and have 101 things to do in my head. I’m always planning what the next meal, outfit or activity will be.
I HAVE SKILLS.
I have multitasking and super negotiation skills, I’ve honed my planning, time management and financial skills and I am adept at managing crises even though society might not recognize me and these skills, my satisfaction comes when my little ones hug me and say, “We had a good day Mommy.” These are the cherished moments that make up a stay-at-home mom's journey.
I AM APPRECIATED.
It has taken me a while to say it out loud and to own it. But, I am proudly, a stay-at-home mom, the primary parent and this unrewarding, mostly unrecognized, mental and physical role is a Labor of love. For a long time, I have fought the conflicting feelings I have when I think of myself as a stay-at-home mom but instead of thinking I have lost myself and my identity, motherhood has given me new insights and daily I find myself.
Ngosa is an Educator, an avid reader, a runner and a mom. She documents her fitness journey on Facebook: Tales of a Zambian Running Girl/Mother.
Connect with her on Facebook: Ngosa Chibuye Muyatwa and Instagram: @ngotsa1
Share your comments below
Edited by Bwalya M Mphuka
To be a contributor to the blog click here.
WIN A FREE TWO DAY TICKET TO THE
AFRICANA WOMAN FESTIVAL
Click here to enter
Instagram @AfricanaWomanFestival
or LinkedIn Africana Woman
Deadline to enter is 15th April, 2024
