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I Left Formal Employment For A Man

By Ngosa Chibuye Muyatwa


So, I left formal employment for a man.


Well, it didn’t happen that way, that was just meant to keep you reading.


My first job was in a rural area and it was a new environment that I had to adjust to because I had grown up in an urban area close to family and friends. After four years of working and commuting to visit my then-boyfriend, we got married and I then moved to a place closer to my husband and family.



Unfortunately, I would only be home during the weekends, consequently, this took a toll on the early stages of our marriage. After the back and forth of commuting to work and trying to keep the marriage afloat I eventually decided to resign from formal employment so I could focus on building a marriage and my family. I learned a few lessons along the way;


Nothing in life is cast in stone


They say the only permanent thing in life is change, which is so true. I was so scared to quit work. I had quit in my mind, years before I finally quit and I am glad I took the leap of faith because I discovered wings that I didn’t know I had. Quitting a formal job was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made because, being the eldest female in a family of five, I was worried about the example I would set for my siblings. However, I learned that it was not quitting that happened. I did not quit, I just pivoted in another direction, within the same field.


Fear may cause you to miss certain opportunities


I do not think I would have met some of the people, networks and opportunities I have if I had stayed in my fear. I have grown career-wise and emotionally because of the decisions I took. Life did not stop I did not starve. God took care of me, family and friends came through when I needed help. I thrived. I built a business that challenges and teaches me daily.

I Left Formal Employment For A Man.

Photography by Eness Photography


Be true to yourself


We only have one life and are not attending a dress rehearsal. I discovered I alone knew what I wanted at that stage of my life. Yes, I asked other people for advice but ultimately, the decision remained with me. I had to have the courage to decide for myself. The decision might have been bad or good, but it had to be done. One might have regrets about the decisions they made but the best thing to do in such a situation is to own the decision and live life as it comes. Be wary of regret, it is a shark that will eat you up if left untamed. Life will come and make you second-guess yourself. Despite this, stand your ground.


Take calculated risks


Before you quit a job, put certain things in place. Do not follow those that romanticize blindly leaving your 9-5. I had a loan that I cleared before I resigned and I had siblings who depended on my income to carry them through school. I ensured all my obligations were met and I had something to fall back on, as I was quitting. I also kept in touch with my former colleagues so I could reach out to them for opportunities or references. This has helped to keep me abreast of the current happenings in my career.


Build on what you already know


I have built a career from the knowledge and experience garnered from my first job. I survived and the world did not stop spinning. The lesson is that you can take what was meant to break you and use it to build a new route for your life.


I Left Formal Employment For A Man.


Ngosa is an Educator, an avid reader, a runner and a mom. She documents her fitness journey on Facebook: Tales of a Zambian Running Girl/Mother.

Connect with her on Facebook: Ngosa Chibuye Muyatwa and Instagram: @Ngosa1



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Edited by Bwalya M Mphuka


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I Left Formal Employment For A Man.

I Left Formal Employment For A Man.


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2 Comments


Doreen Ngoma
Doreen Ngoma
Oct 05, 2023

Reading this article shows how so many people have stayed in the wrong career or calling because they are afraid of failing and disappointing their family and friends. This article tells us to follow our dreams, but to also stay true to our commitment to those who depend on us.

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Chulu Chansa
Chulu Chansa
Oct 05, 2023
Replying to

Beautifully said

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