Dear Africana Woman,
How are you? I think the world over is mourning Chadwick Boseman. To be honest I have not read any of the articles after his passing. You have to understand that I am the chick that will go watch all of the interviews for a movie, read all of the back stories for the characters, watch all of the easter eggs in a movie and really go all out in understanding the deeper meaning of what is trying to be portrayed by the story tellers. So this is totally out of character for me to not do the research. I feel in the depths of my soul, that here was a man who stood up to fear and chose to empty himself so as when he goes up to heaven he can say, “I left it all on the table. I did what you told me to do”. I feel like he fulfilled his purpose. He showed every melanated person who they really are: royalty, children of a King, capable of doing things that this world has not seen. Chadwick showed us that excuses are the crutches that we use to limit ourselves. He did what he was assigned to do on this earth. His life was well lived. So I do not need the interpretations of the backstory. His gift to us has been memorialised for eternity and that is enough.
I must tell you that I am actually weeping as I write this. I thought I was okay. When the Black Mamba died I cried. But this is the first time I have allowed myself to be covered with the emotions of grief from this loss of Chadwick. This year is hard enough I don’t understand why our black men are being taken from us so young. I don’t understand why we have to endure the loss of people who give us hope. God what is your will here? We need our men! They are being shot, they are being killed, they are emasculated by systems, we are all fatherless. How can you take our Hope? My heart feels like it is shattered and like the Kings Men, I don’t know how to put the pieces together again. I am so tired, I am tired of raising these boys alone. I am tired of trying to fill a frame that I can never fit in. I am tired of doing it all alone. I had that guy that I could point to to say look at him, be like him. But him is gone. What do I do with that? It hurts, its painful and I do not want to feel this any more.
I know that I addressed this to women but maybe this week I was really meant to say
Dear Africana Man,
I love you but you have broken my heart. I see you trying but it’s like you are lost and don’t have an anchor to hold you steady. I need you, my son needs you. You need to get it together and figure your shit out, because we only have so much time on this earth. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Live a life that you are truly proud of. I know its scary to take on responsibility and risk failing, but damn it I am scared too and you have left me here to do this all alone.
Where are the Dads? Where ARE THE DADS? Anyone can father a child, but it takes a courageous man to take on the title DAD. Where are the brothers who are the confidants, the healthy competition and the muscle for a beat down. Where are the Uncles who we run to when we need someone to talk to with a fresh perspective and no judgement. Where are the Grandfathers, who we can just sit with even in silence and feel like everything will be okay. Where are our men?
I’m sorry, I know I sound hysterical. But I feel like we are in a crisis as a people. If losing the Black Mamba AND the Black Panther isn’t a wake up call, then I don’t know what else there is that can pull us out of this crisis. You have got to do better. I need you. We need you. God needs you.
So what if you did not have a father figure to show you the ropes. God is your example. In fact it’s easy, just do the opposite of what you experienced. Yeah I know that you are scared of failing but guess what Failure is part of life. You are human, you are going to fail. So have I. We all do, every single day, but we get to start over the next day and try again, learn from our mistakes, adapt, tweak things, change what we do not like because it’s rinse, wash and repeat, every day getting closer to being a master of your life.
If Black is King, and the Mamba and Panther have ascended from this life, my King claim your throne, and tell me who you are. Say it out loud and proud “I am Black ...” fill in the gap.
Yes you are. You always have been. Long live the King.
Love for eternity,
Ladies, this is for you now (we are back to our regular program lol). I have stopped crying now. There was a point I could barely see what I was typing. I am happy that I allowed myself to feel the emotions though. I know you have heard the saying to get to the other side you must go through the pain so as your old self dies and you come out renewed. Please help me to share this love letter with an African man, a black man, A King in your life. Just tell him there is this crazy Zambian chick out there who sent them a letter because she loves you fiercely. Thank you babes.
So I forgot to mention that the Africana Woman podcast is now launched! Gurl, you know there is a story there, but that’s for another day. For today, I just really want you to know that this is such an exciting time for us as African Women to have our voices be heard. I am so proud of you. A new episode comes out every Saturday at 08:00am. You can find the podcast right here on the Africana Woman website, you can check it out on my YouTube channel called Chulu by Design and you can find it on ALL places that you find your podcasts whether its iTunes, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean etc yes sis everywhere (ok a ka disclaimer this statement will be true for any date after 7 Sept, because I registered on the 1st but it takes a couple days for it to be listed lol). So my point is make sure you go and listen. Please subscribe, rate and review and share it with your African girlfriends.
Ok now I am pushing my luck, but they say whats the worst that can happen when you ask, the answer is no but I am still alive. So my coach tells me that a reasonable goal for the podcast is to have 1000 downloads in the first 30 days. Now you know me I dream big eh! So please can you go on there and show these people, that Africana Women are here, we exist and we are loud and proud. Let’s blow that goal of 1000 to pieces and show them numbers they don’t understand. As a pastor would say let’s give them numbers that will confound them. Hahaha. That means you have to share it with every body. Ladies this is not My win, This is Our win. We can do this. Preferably share iTunes or the Podbean links. Thank you my darling. I love you. Alright, I am going to sleep now. I can’t wait to see your feedback on this post and the podcast. Drop your thoughts in the comments. You know what it is, LOVE yourself, flaws n all, and attract the life that you truly desire.
Hugs hugs hugs