Updated: May 16, 2021
Dear Africana Woman,
I am so glad you are back here to receive another love letter. I want you to know that I appreciate you. Most of us celebrated Fathers Day this last Sunday to honour the men in our lives. This is always an awkward day for me because I grew up without a father and never had someone step in as a father figure. Therefore, I have never utilised the word Dad. Consequently, when I see the messages and pictures, it lands on me like a dry joke. If you are like me and grew up without a Dad I have a message for you. I want you to know God says, "Sweetheart I love you. More than you can ever comprehend." Please know this, everyone in your life has a purpose. On your life's journey people will walk in and out of your life because not everyone is meant to stay with you the entire time. So the purpose of the man who fathered you was God's mechanism to get you on earth. I know that you are sad and angry that he left. However, know this, God knew you were strong enough to get through without him. I also want you to know that sometimes God released that man to protect You. Mhm He knew that if that man stayed he would break you mentally, spiritually or physically. So whilst It hurts that you were abandoned, God loves you so much that he chose the lesser hurt for you. So let go. Release the hurt and anger. Free yourself from the shackles of unforgiveness. Begin living the life you have been called to live because you have been ordained and your experiences have uniquely placed you in the position to excel in your purpose. You will never fully appreciate the joy in your life if you do not release the fantasy you have of what your life would have been like with a Dad. Release it.
Well today we have come to the end of the series called KNOW your Roots, Grow your Purpose. This has been a reflection on a phrase that I truly believe will help you live a full life. KNOW is an acronym for Knowledge, Nourishment, Obedience and today's word Weakness. I can see you cringing at the thought of being told to voluntarily be weak. Our culture has a very unhealthy relationship with weakness or more precisely failure. We have an intolerance for people to make mistakes. Rarely do we give each other the grace to fail, learn from our mistakes, then get up and try again.
I love the analogy of a baby learning how to walk. A baby will get up and fall a thousand times because every time they try they are becoming wiser, more confident, and their bones are becoming stronger in order to support them. As we watch them strive to achieve their goal of walking, we cheer them on, we practice with them, we support them and we too do this 1000 times over. What we do not do is say, "well you failed to walk the first time, so stay seated. Walking is not for you" ..... Replace the baby with an adult who is trying to achieve a goal. Truth be told we are not willing to wait for them to succeed. You watch them fail one, two and maybe even three times and you loose your patience. You expect successful results immediately. Never mind that each time they try they get better. Nor is every journey meant to look the same. Whilst some blossom early others take a little while longer. I am not supporting laziness. The difference between a lazy person and a person with a vision is that the latter will keep trying, tweaking and adjusting till they get it right, the former most likely has a woe is me attitude that they assign blame to for their failures.
I know you have read biographies of the most successful people in the world. You know how they failed too many times to count and eventually persevered to their current success. Yet you believe you will be the anomaly and achieve 'success' in just one attempt. Thing is success is a journey and you are always becoming a better version of yourself. I also encourage you to think a little differently about your failures from a spiritual perspective. A failure is a form of weakness. When we reach into our cultural roots and acknowledge that our spirituality is connected to a higher being, we then realise that we have an abundant resource to tap into for help, inspiration, and encouragement in order to achieve milestones in our journey of success. It is not possible to do everything in your own power because you are limited. At some point you must surrender and allow God to work through you. Because He is the source of all things. I strongly believe the word, "but his answer was, "My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak." I am most happy, then to be proud of my weaknesses, in order to feel the protection of Christ's power over me...For when I am weak then I am strong" (2 Corinth 12:9-11). You have to allow God to put the super in your natural. Your natural is flawed. And I say this all the time, I want you to love yourself flaws n all because I believe it is perfectly okay to be flawed. In fact it is normal. So if you are trying to present yourself as perfect, Babe that is not normal.
There is a peace to accepting who you are holistically, that is your physical appearance, your character and your abilities. There are some things about you that are excellent but still not perfect and there are also things about you that are flawed and not as desirable. Yet in His eyes you are made in His image. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. You are beloved. If you could stand in that truth and accept yourself flaws and all, you would be in a place of contentment. Weakness is not a dirty word. In fact there is a beauty and strength to being weak, when you are connected to your source.
If you are on a wellness journey, especially as an African woman, it would be remiss to dismiss your culture. Our culture is intricately woven into our lives and cannot be ignored when we seek self love and good mental health. It is so important to tap into the roots of your culture for answers and solutions to the type of life that you desire. When you KNOW your Roots, you have a deep knowledge of your beliefs and values and most importantly the why of what you do. Then you become more intentional about nourishing yourself with content that will add value to you. Ultimately realising that you have a purpose on this earth that is constantly calling you to operate in obedience to your authentic self. Finally, knowing that even as you walk out your purpose, you will fail sometimes and that is absolutely okay because when you are weak, He is strong and the infinite source of all things will not only get you through, He will do exceedingly abundantly above ALL that you can ask for.