Load Shedding

Dear Africana Woman,

Happy New Month. It is a whole June. We are at the halfway mark of the year. I think 2022 is flying by mweh. I woke up today ready to do some load shedding. Gurl there are some things that have been weighing me down. Today I said to myself I need to let go of them bags. They are not helping me, instead they are slowing me down. As a result, I have let go of commitments, people’s expectations of me. I let go of guilt. I wish I could say I let go of fear but I think that is always there. Instead I shed my load in spite of the fear.

Let’s take a brief moment to talk about metrics of success. In life we all have a way of measuring whether you are successful or not. It could be that you have gone to university, married your sweetheart, have 2.5 kids and have built a house. Other people measure their success by the number of followers they have on social media, or the number of likes on their posts, or the compliments in their comments. It could also be the number of notes in your bank account. Many of these are inherited or learned metrics. But what if you could be radical by deciding for yourself what your metrics of success are?

Over time I have come to understand that my metrics of success are Love, Joy and Peace. These three things must be present in everything that I do. From my work, the spaces I occupy, my relationships, and my spirituality. If these things are not present then I make a conscious effort to include them and if that fails then I extricate myself. My mental health is far more important than what other people will think. Disappointment from external forces is not my priority. I want to LOVE what I do. I want to feel so much JOY as I do it. And my mind, body and soul should be at PEACE as I do what I do. These are my metrics of success.

Let me give examples of how I can check my metrics. When I am about to post a picture on social media, I ask myself, am I posting it so that as many people can react to it thereby boosting my ego. Or am I posting it as an act of Love because I think the content will actually benefit someone in a deep and meaningful way, even if it’s just one person.