Dear Africana Woman,
Happy New Month. It is a whole June. We are at the halfway mark of the year. I think 2022 is flying by mweh. I woke up today ready to do some load shedding. Gurl there are some things that have been weighing me down. Today I said to myself I need to let go of them bags. They are not helping me, instead they are slowing me down. As a result, I have let go of commitments, people’s expectations of me. I let go of guilt. I wish I could say I let go of fear but I think that is always there. Instead I shed my load in spite of the fear.
Let’s take a brief moment to talk about metrics of success. In life we all have a way of measuring whether you are successful or not. It could be that you have gone to university, married your sweetheart, have 2.5 kids and have built a house. Other people measure their success by the number of followers they have on social media, or the number of likes on their posts, or the compliments in their comments. It could also be the number of notes in your bank account. Many of these are inherited or learned metrics. But what if you could be radical by deciding for yourself what your metrics of success are?
Over time I have come to understand that my metrics of success are Love, Joy and Peace. These three things must be present in everything that I do. From my work, the spaces I occupy, my relationships, and my spirituality. If these things are not present then I make a conscious effort to include them and if that fails then I extricate myself. My mental health is far more important than what other people will think. Disappointment from external forces is not my priority. I want to LOVE what I do. I want to feel so much JOY as I do it. And my mind, body and soul should be at PEACE as I do what I do. These are my metrics of success.
Let me give examples of how I can check my metrics. When I am about to post a picture on social media, I ask myself, am I posting it so that as many people can react to it thereby boosting my ego. Or am I posting it as an act of Love because I think the content will actually benefit someone in a deep and meaningful way, even if it’s just one person.
Or when I host an event and only two people show up. Will I behave sad and dismissive because my focus is on all the people that did not come. Or will I be the best host ever, cracking jokes, making sure my two guests have the best time, because I want them to feel Joy.
Do I cry about not being married at 37 years old because society says I should be married by now? Or am I at Peace with being single at 37 because it has given me time to know myself, know my boundaries and I have had the opportunity to set healthy standards.
Think about it a little:
1. How do you measure success?
2. Who gave you those metrics?
3. Are you okay with those metrics or do you want to change them?
Like I said at the beginning, I had to put somethings through the filter of my metrics and some things were not working. Today I made the decision to Load Shed. It feels great.
Okay sweetpea, it’s time for me to sign off. If you are new here, oh hun, welcome. Please click the subscribe button and I will send you a love letter directly. If you are a Live Hard reader, hugs, hugs and more hugs. Africana Woman is a blog, podcast, and community. Use everything that is available to you. You can also catch me on Instagram at ChulubyDesign. Lady I want you to go out in this world with your head held high because you love yourself flaws n all, and then attract the life that you truly desire. Day 14 done. #30DaysWriting
Love, Peace & Joy