In To Me See

Updated: May 16, 2021

Dear Africana Woman,

Hey Darling. How are you? So I was going through the last love letters that I sent you and I realised that I am a hypocrite. I tell people’s stories but never really talk about me. I am actually not used to talking about myself, partly because deep down I believe that no one is really interested in knowing all the nitty gritty. However, I do think that you deserve to know more than just the surface level. It’s not even that I want to hide anything I am just never asked so I don’t say anything. You know? Anyway, today no one has asked but I am choosing to say something. In to me see.. 

I was told; go to school, work really hard, get a degree, get a good job, live abroad and you will be successful in life. No one ever sat me down and said those words to me in one sentence but when you piece all the statements together that's basically what was expected of me. Boyi did I work hard.

I passed grade 12 with flying colours. I won a scholarship to a school in the UK and won a second scholarship to a school in the USA for university. I was on the right track or so I thought.

What I did not count on was abruptly becoming a minority when I had grown up as a majority. I did not expect to learn that the guys on campus did not date African girls because ‘they all had HIV.’ I was disappointed to see all the African guys rush to date girls of other races. To be classified undesirable coupled with micro aggressions really crushed my self esteem and my soul. I felt lost and did not know who I was.