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Updated: Oct 16, 2021

Dear Africana Woman,


This week was my birthday. I am a whole 37 years. I am so excited. I was a bit overwhelmed by the events of the week to be honest. There is a ton going on. I need to do an audit soon. So I guess let me share what I have learned this year and how I have evolved.


Let’s start with my vanity. Had it been two years ago, I would be the person counting how many people ONE remembered my birthday TWO how many people posted on my socials THREE keeping score of people I sent messages to and then they didn’t do anything for me. Maybe it’s not vanity but pettiness HAHAHAHA. Maybe I am the only one who used to do that. Well it’s the truth. Then I would get all worked up and upset when I don’t hit certain numbers of perceived love or something. The difference with this year and previous years is that whilst I am happy to have well wishes, my happiness is not dependent on the messages. Listen, I woke up on the 13th ...actually I also used to wait for who would be the first to send me a birthday message 🙄 (literally rolling my eyes at my foolishness). Friend, I went to bed early, because I was mad tired. When I woke up on the 13th I said my prayers, wrote in my gratitude journal and wrote my intentions for the day. My intentions were Lord surprise me, let me move with grace and ease. I pray for rest and unplug but at the same time i want to dance, reflect and give thanks.


I was like I will be cool, calm and collected today. Then I heard a message from Muma Sinkala. If you don’t know Muma, she is a professional hype gurl. Followed by a message from Kako and a surprise post from Tryphena. Cool ran out the door and I was super hyper. I was dancing, kopaling myself. Then I was expected to work *sigh hahahaha


Got into the office and to my relief everyone had forgotten it was my birthday. I say that because it’s like a pissing competition. “What are you going to do for your birthday?” and of course my answer was, “Nothing” Then there is confusion on their faces, so they follow up with, “Oh but you will do something on the weekend” and my answer is still, “No” There follows an awkward silence. You see people are uncomfortable that contentment is not attached to money. To give them credit two people eventually remembered. By noon I was done and out the door.


I think over this last year I have been learning to trust God and to trust myself more. I will explain. We are so focused on pushing ourselves to hustle and grind. ‘I will sleep when I am dead’ culture. Like friend, I am not about that life anymore. I listen to my body. When it gives me clues that you are tired, I listen and go to bed. Gone are the days when I am forcing myself to do all nighters. I feel better and I think I get more quality work done.